Making a Difference Despite the PAIN

Constant, aggravating pain is the worst. It tries to suck you in and turn you into a weepy, angry, selfish ball of frustration. It tries to take away your joy. It wants you to put an Eeyore spin on everything. Feeling constant pain throughout your body, for no reason other than the food you ate or the weather outside, is not something I'd wish on anyone. But it's part of my life right now. And as much as I am tempted to fall into the traps I just listed, I'm not doing that today.

I always try to be proactive about my health, and think about what I can control that may help my day to day life. So I took a few minutes to ponder what I ate yesterday (nothing that's caused an arthritis flare before), to think over my stress level (I can't pinpoint anything bothering me), and then it dawned on me. It's the weather. Yesterday was sunny, blue skies, and 60 degrees for the first time in a long time. Today it is overcast, grey, and COLD - it got down to 38 degrees last night.

So today I am not blaming myself for eating something "bad" or getting stressed when I shouldn't have. I am not in charge of the weather, or the way my body reacts to it. All I can do is do what I can do. (That wasn't a riddle... but it sounds like it!)

Encouraging other people always brings me joy. So I spent some time this morning texting and messaging whoever came to mind, writing whatever thoughts came to mind. I love doing this from time to time, and wish I could convince everyone to do it. Encouraging someone takes the focus off of me and my problems, and points my focus onto loving others.

This is one of those hidden blessings of chronic illness, once you grasp it. Being forced to slow down (or stop altogether!) and not being able to control how you feel physically, you are given a lot of free time to think. And if you learn to direct those thoughts in a godly, positive way, and reject the Mind Monsters that try to creep in, I believe you can make a difference even through your pain. You don't have to have a perfectly functioning body to use your voice. You can always speak into a life, vocally or through the written word, and impact people and situations for good. I have hard days mentally, like anyone with chronic illness, but I'm thankful today isn't one of them. Today, I'm remembering to believe that no matter the challenges we face, God still has a purpose for us if breath is in our lungs. And I will do what I can to make a difference, even if it has to be from the couch in my living room!

Relationship Influence

This is a teaching from my (VERY WISE) Pastor, Kevin Gerald. It is helping me today.

HOW OUR RELATIONSHIPS INFLUENCE OUR LIVES AND DESTINY

Who you align yourself with will affect what you become in your future. Do not under estimate the influence your relationships are having on your life! The Bible emphasizes the VALUE of relationship with the right kind of people and the consequences of relationships with the wrong people. 

• Proverbs 14:7 "Stay away from foolish men"
• Proverbs 13:20 "He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm"
• 1 Corinthians 15:33 "Bad company corrupts good character"

1. The four areas of relational alignment that most impact your life

    a. your marriage - the kind of person you marry will have an immeasurable impact on your life.

• if you marry a lazy man, Proverbs 10:14 says, "a quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping on a rainy day, restraining her is like restraining the wind or grasping oil with the hand."

    b. your church - the kind of church you attend is a "relational alignment" that will have impact on your life.

• many styles of Christian church with different emphases
• not all churches teach the Word of God
• some churches do not expect commitment

    c. your co-workers - the kind of people yo uwork around is a relational alignment that will impact your life

    d. your social ties - these are the people you are with by choice, not by obligation.

 2. Make it your goal to be friendly and courteous to everyone, but also make it your goal to consciously decide who will and will not have influence in your life.

   a. Failure to consciously choose will result in the wrong people having influence on you (it will happen)

   b. When you consciously choose, you are "qualifying" people for an influential role in your life

   c. Relatives - some of your relatives are the kind of people you do not want influencing you.

   d. Like personalities - some of the most likeable people who are funny and charming are not necessarily a good influence in your life.

   e. Decide in what ways a person has influence in your life.

• These are people you could learn a trade from, but the minute they start to talk about the meaning of a certain scripture and it's different than what lines up with the Word of God, their influence should be reduced to zero!
• There are people who you can enjoy a recreational activity with (like golfing or fishing) who are not qualified to be your marriage counselor.

3. Reserve your inner circle for people...

    a. Who are committed to a Biblical worldview

• Meaning they govern their lives, choices, behavior by the teachings of The Bible. It's not just a religion to them, but a lifestyle.

    b. Who bring out the best in you.

• Meaning they help you be the person you want to be accomplishing what you want to accomplish 

4. How our relationships influence our lives and destiny

    a. The people we align ourselves with will influence who we become in life.

1. Proverbs 14:7 "Stay away from a foolish man"
2. Proverbs 13:20 "He who walks with the wise grows with the wise but a companion of fools suffers harm "
• He who knows no, and know not that he knows not, is a goof; shun him.
• He who knows no, and know that he knows not is a child; teach him.
• He who knows no, and knows not that he knows, is asleep; wake him.
• He who knows and knows that he knows, is wise; follow him.

    3. Decide who you want to spend time with.

       a. 1 Corinthians 15:33 - "Bad company corrupts good character"

       b. 1 Corinthians 5:11 - "If anyone who claims to be a brother, with such a man do not even eat"

       c. Proverbs 27:17 - "as iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another"

   4. Once you realize how vital your relationships are to your life and future, you will begin to recognize some of your relationships as "God designed connections"

      a. Joseph's connect with a butler

      b. Esther's connection to the King

      c. David's relationship with Jonathan

      d. An Ethiopian crossing the desert sees Phillip

      e. Elijah and Elisha

    5. How to recognize God designed relationships in your life.

      a. Five areas God places people in your life for you to recognize:

• Partners - These people share a common interst/goal
• Mentors - They produce change in us
• Proteges - They learn from us
• Friends - they affirm us, are committed to us
• Contacts - they network us
• When you recognize the role these people have in your life, you will experience the purpose for God putting them in your life. It's our responsibility to recognize their role, by recognizing their role we release "The God Plan". 
• For example, Don't make the  mistake of trying to force contacts into being friends. (God will bring "contacts" into your life that he doesn't intend you to become closer to.) Also, when you find a mentor, be content to be a good student. (Mentors do not have to know you to fulfill God purpose.)

         b. Secondly, develop the ability to relate to a variety of people. The more people you are able to relate to, the more opportunities you create for God to enlarge you and use you.

•         Jesus related well to a variety of people although he was selective with his inner circle.
• Politicians
• Religious leaders
• Fishermen
• Tax collectors
• Wealthy (Nicodemus/Influential)
• Common people

• Don't get stuck with one person that you pull all your relational energy into.
• Unhealthy
• Limiting
• Your identity gets wrapped up in one person
• Biased views, judgmentalism, criticism grow in that atmosphere 

        c. Here are examples of the kinds of people who struggle relationally:

• Spy people - Become suspicious that everyone is out to get them
• Fry people - Get mad, fizzle and burn out of relationships
• Lie people - Has an excuse for every mistake
• Cry people - Overly sensitive, martyrs who only relate with those who are sympathetic
• Sigh people - Do not contribute to relationships
• Fly people - Soar relationally, have mentors, proteges, friends and contacts and value all of them as instruments of God in their life.

"a day of Thanksgiving and Praise to our beneficent Father"

It is so important to know why we do what we do in life, whether it's a family tradition, a cultural custom, or a national holiday. Take two minutes today and read President Abraham Lincoln's "Proclamation Establishing Thanksgiving Day," to renew and refresh your understanding of why we get a day off work and gather with loved ones over a beautiful feast every year at the end of November. It is a beautiful piece of writing that explains why the Thanksgiving holiday was created, and describes the circumstances surrounding those hard times. There was a clear need felt by President Lincoln, a real need for a national day of turning our eyes upward and offering our heartfelt thanks to God for ALL He has done on our behalf.
If only this would be read publicly each Thanksgiving holiday, it would remind the multitude that we are a great nation BECAUSE we were founded upon the principles and purposes of our God, and we are so blessed BECAUSE we made room for him in our society. These truths are so blurred, hidden, and forgotten these days. CEOs all know how dangerous it is to not know or care about the vision statement of your company - why is it that recent US Presidents aren't thinking the same way?
Sometimes I wish we had President Lincoln and some of the other greats back in office; what a dream team they would make! God-given wisdom in a leader will always outweigh even the highest academic achievements, business success, and cultural popularity. I'm just saying...

"Show Me Your Friends, and I'll Show You Your Future"

"Show me your friends, and I'll show you your future." - Jeannie Mayo

My youth pastor in high school, still one of my mentors, shared this quote all the time. It is SO true. Just as we are what we eat, so we become who we spend time with. I'm so confused lately by the people I watch that spend time with those that are not necessarily challenging them or making them better, but just making them comfortable.
While I've had some lonely seasons in life, including the one I'm still in, I am thankful and would never trade the fact that I've had to start over a few times in life when circumstances faded friendships. Sometimes it takes a while to establish the right relationships in which to invest our time and love. It takes work, but that's the sacrifice you make when you go after what God calls you to do instead of staying where you're comfortable - so no whining here (though I've had my moments)!

Pay attention to your relationships. If you want to have an adventurous, God-chasing life but your friends' goals are to live in the same town for fifty years and never pursue a dream boldly, are you matched up with the right people? If you are blessed with children and want them to grow up serving God and knowing Him personally, but you spend all your time with people that don't have any kids, how are you getting wisdom on parenting? These are questions worth asking. I consistently ask myself the same kind of questions. It's all about being intentional and aware.

Take a look around at your inner circle and ask yourself, "Where am I going?" And give yourself an honest answer. Personally, I want to go after all God has for me, and I know I won't get that by staying comfortable, doing the lazy thing, and sticking to the old. To succeed at this, we've got to step out, be brave, and seek out relationships and friends that are going where we want to go, doing what we want to do, and being who we want to be! Don't hesitate befriending people who you're intimidated by - if you are too proud to admit you need to grow in some areas, and you stay around those you feel "better than" for the rest of your life, you're not going to get all that God has for you. He always has more - even if it means giving up your comfort for a while, go after it! Let's follow Jesus -not just when it's easy or comfortable, but even when it means making tough or unpopular decisions- and go after ALL he has for us. Life's too short to stay in the same place forever!